I remember being the Mother

My story is from a young age, I remember being the mother of the family as my mum was either asleep or drunk. Thinking back now she must have only been in her early 30s. This breaks my heart.

There were days when we used to go without food or we would have to walk to the shop and that was embarrassing as my mum used to fall over and shout at people. But as a child, we didn’t know any different.

Things got worse

When I got older, I went to live with my great aunt and uncle and had the best life.

They had a caravan in Wales and used to take me and my siblings there. It was a good get away but when we returned mum was still drinking.

She got pregnant with our youngest brother, and we thought it would be better, but it was worse. She drank all through her pregnancy giving him Foetal Alcohol Syndrome.

There was a time she came to the school disco with him as a baby and dropped him on the floor in front of everyone! Police and social services were called, and she went to rehab after that but came out drank again.

Our first family holiday

Then my nan had a brain haemorrhage, so she stopped fully then. She was sober for 8 years and took us all on our first family holiday. After a week she had a heart attack following pleurisy as she had a drink on holiday and relapsed.

She died on holiday in Turkey leaving all her kids. I was the eldest at 21 with a 1-year-old so had to come home and look after all my siblings for the foreseeable future.

The last thing I can remember

We visited her in hospital in Turkey and she was on antibiotics. The hospital said she was fine and could come home the following day. Our flights were booked so I took all my siblings home.

The last thing I can remember coming out of the hospital is my mum shouting ‘I love you’ to me and the baby.

She never told me this, but I didn’t think anything of it then.

I left her and that is the last I saw her.

Laura

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