Since having my own
It breaks my heart
Too think he’d ever forget my face
My smile, my smell, my voice
I try so hard but it’s fading away.
I know you had a huge smile
and an even bigger heart
but now the details are gone.
No words can explain the pain this causes me.
You gave me life and I long to remember your sweet voice.
It’s like a pixelated photo in my mind
One that I fear before long will disappear forever.
How can someone so important become a blurry image
How can a mother feel like a stranger
You never got to know me
Not the real me.
Alcohol took everything that little girl ever knew.
Her world was you and solely you
But her is now me and I have my own family.
But I’ll never stop wishing that you were here with me.
The hole is still as apparent now as the day you left, but for many different reasons.
I needed you then too look after me
I need you now too tell me I’m doing a good job myself.
I wanted to be enough for you to quit
My whole life has now been a fight for me not to quit.
And it was so worth it too see my own child’s gorgeous face.
Why wasn’t that enough for you.
Life could of been so different for us
You were worth so much more than the horrific end that the drink gave you.
I will keep you forever in my heart but I fear everything else will Fade Away.