Good Girl
They say we’re resilient
Like it makes it okay
You speak in your ‘code’
As though truth won’t convey
I don’t want to cope
It’s not what I’d choose
But if I speak up against you
I can only lose
I’m small and I’m listening
Picking up many things
I can’t grasp all the facts yet
But the worry still stings
You’re telling her something
I know isn’t true
I know because you said
It was between me and you
But I’m hearing you now
And your story goes on
So perhaps it was me
That remembers it wrong
And I doubt what I know
About all of this now
You’re here to keep me safe
And yet, somehow
I feel an unease
A doubt starts to grow
I sense I shouldn’t let
My emotions show
Be a good girl and smile
It’ll keep me safe
But the landscape has altered
And I want to escape
I tug at your arm
I plead with my eyes
Your reactions are slow
As a fresh drink arrives
A woman is cooing
And stroking my hair
I don’t want her to touch me
I lean into you and stare
Now you’re both laughing
You push me away
I don’t know what I did wrong
But I feel shame anyway
Your friends make less sense
The longer they stay
I’m feeling unsafe now
As one of them sways
Far too much later
We’re home and I’m glad
I don’t understand why
But you seem really sad
I try to go hug you
You say go to bed
And I go to bed thinking
Which wrong word I said
In the morning your brightness
Is a relief to see
I bask in your renewed
Affection for me
I take what I can
And I hug you so tight
I’m a good girl again
I can make this alright.
Katy
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