The last words my Dad said

My dad was an alcoholic. He died from cirrhosis when he was 39. I was 17 at the time.

Alcohol dominated family life

Alcohol dominated our family life. It was the priority and the choice. It’s where the money went. It’s where the time went. It’s what caused the various hospital trips, the arguments, the shouting, the smashing.

Alcohol robbed us of happy family times and took my dad away. As a child, I felt loved yet also not enough and scared at the same time. 

Dad’s last words

The day before my dad (his name was Mark) died, whilst he was laying in his hospital bed, he said something to me that caught me off guard and made me rethink. He knew he was going to die and there were days left.

The last words he would ever say would be “There’s only 2 things I’m sad to miss – your 18th birthday and your wedding”, and then we both sobbed.

He didn’t choose this 

And it made me realise, he didn’t choose this. Why would anyone choose this? Addiction got a hold of him and made alcohol the thing, but that’s not what he wanted. I’d spent so long being angry, and I’m still angry, but I know it’s not something he had control of.

He really did love his family, even though for most of my life it didn’t seem that way. The last words he said gave me a glimpse of how he really felt.

Siobhan

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