Where is he? Who is he with? How much has he drank today?
Will he come home tonight? My head’s spinning.
“Have you tried Al-Anon?”, she said.
“Why?” I said, “I’m not the one with the problem.
“KEEP COMING BACK!”, they said.
Its not that bad. It could be worse and when he’s not
drinking, everything is all right. He says he needs me.
“Read this book”, she said.
LIES OF THE MIND – I read, Chapter 3.
“It’s a bit heavy and its made me cry”, I said.
“Yes”, she said.
I’ve got a good job. I’ve studied and I have qualifications.
(I’m not stupid!)
I look after the children, keep the house tidy and pay the
bills. (Having it all meant doing it all!)
“Are you looking after yourself”, she said.
“Of course”, I lied, lighting another cigarette.
He’s promised to change. He bought me flowers today.
Then he hit me.
He loves me……..He loves me not……..
“Have you considered counselling?”, she said
“No”, I said, ”My doctor says I’ve dealt with my past”.
REPEATED PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR, I discovered.
“Oh dear”, I said, “I’m turning into my mother.”
Why do I SAY ‘Yes’, when I mean to say ‘no’?
How can I express my feelings – say what I mean
and mean what I say?
“Assertiveness classes might help”, she said.
“I can’t afford it”, I said.
“Can you afford not to?”, she said.
I signed up.
I have a new life now.
Meaningful relationships with people I care about.
My Higher guides me – speaks to me through others,
when I’m in my garden, out walking or taking a break
I’ve developed new skills, re-discovered the pleasure
I get when I’M BEING CREATIVE.
And sometimes, my Higher Power grants me the
privilege of helping others.
“But I’m an agnostic”, said the new lady at the
Al-Anon meeting, “I don’t believe in God”
“That’s OK”, I said
KEEP COMING BACK.