Doing hard things and allowing negative experiences to drive positive change
I decided to sign up for the 2024 Manchester Marathon as someone with very little running experience. I wanted to give myself a personal challenge, push myself out of my comfort zone and ultimately get better at something I’m bad at.
There was no question on my mind that Nacoa was the charity for me to support during this training. I grew up with a high-functioning, alcoholic dad, who eventually passed from the illness in 2011 when I was 12.
Stigma and shame
For years, I felt so much stigma and shame that I’d had an alcoholic parent. I often questioned if I could’ve done more to stop it. Or that maybe I wasn’t enough to get him to stop drinking.
I was also the only person I knew in this position. I’ll never be able to explain the incredible support I’ve had from my mum, but I still didn’t know anyone else who had lost a parent to drinking, and what comes with that experience at a young age and the impact it continues to have as an adult.
Discovering I wasn’t alone
When I first discovered Nacoa, the content they put out and seeing that other people felt how I felt provided me with comfort that I wasn’t alone and that alcoholism isn’t something to be ashamed of.
A large struggle of my grief was being asked what happened to my dad. I’d use excuses like “he was just unwell for a long time” or avoid any mention of the topic at all, making me inevitably feel even more alone.
2024 marked a monumental time in my grief. I was entering a period where I have lived longer without my dad than I did with him.
I decided I wanted to do more to break the stigma and shame I had felt.
Doing hard things to drive positive change
I’d only ever spoken to very close friends about my experience. So I took the plunge and launched my Just Giving page, speaking more publicly about alcoholism and the impact it’s had on my life.
Running the marathon was a great experience that took weeks of discipline and consistency. I can’t wait to see what else I can challenge myself to do in future.
For anyone who is going through something similar or has been in the past, I hope you can find peace in knowing that alcoholism is an illness like any other. You can’t control it, and you’re not responsible for your parent’s drinking.
I’ve navigated my grief by reminiscing on the early memories I have of my dad, the ones that I can look back on and laugh and remember how great of a person he was before alcoholism took grasp of his life, and I’d urge anyone else to do the same.
Here’s to doing hard things and allowing negative experiences to drive positive change.
Charlotte
Read more experience stories.
