Over the years I stepped in to help him recover from various benders, then 3 years ago he fell down the stairs drunk and broke his back and several ribs. I moved in with him, which was really difficult and he was so ill I kept thinking he was about to die.
He then went abroad and returned to the UK with legionnaire’s disease after another bender. It was at this point I couldn’t take being his live-in carer any more. I saved his life by calling the emergency doctor then moved out when he was admitted to hospital. I was completely traumatised by seeing him in that state- doubly incontinent and barely able to breathe, but still smoking and drinking. I distanced myself from him whilst I recovered.
He has never forgiven me for ‘abandoning’ him at this point. I know whatever I do will never be enough for him. He’s getting worse all the time, so he’s frequently nasty and impossible to reason with.
I can’t cope with being in contact with him because it upsets me too much and I don’t even want to try any more.
I just want to sever all ties and get on with living my own life.