Letting go of responsibilities 

I was quite young when I came to realise that my mum’s drinking wasn’t normal.

She was going through many battles after going through a divorce with my dad. During this time she would leave us with strangers to go to the pub or invite them round and party with them, whilst myself and my older sister were upstairs.

But sometimes she would just drink vodka or whiskey on her own for the sake of it. In time social services had to become involved, and my grandparents took my sister and I in.  

Being with mum could be frightening

We would still be allowed to visit mum on scheduled days each week, but we would go round to find her drunk or passed out. Or sometimes she wouldn’t answer the door or her phone, and we knew we wouldn’t be seeing her.

Although if she was drunk and we were there with her, it would get quite frightening when she would turn volatile or she would pass out from the amount she drank.  

I wondered if I was doing something wrong

As I got older, I realised that I barely had a relationship with my mum. I didn’t feel close to her like my friends mums did with their mums, but I felt I had a duty and a responsibility to look after her and would always worry that I would get a call to say she’s gone.

She had turbulent relationships, and whenever something went wrong, mum would often end up in hospital after taking overdoses. I felt like I had to be the one to try and save her, but at the same time felt a bit worthless as I always questioned why my own mum chose drink over her daughters.

I wondered if I was doing something wrong as my own mother was wanting to kill herself. 

Whatever happens, it won’t be my fault

At present, I have had to learn that my mum is not my responsibility and that whatever happens it won’t be my fault.

I feel quite proud that I have managed to get myself through uni, get a job, a car and rent a flat, and have had to do this without any help.

Although my sister still has a relationship with my mum, I have decided not to, as it was having a negative impact on my mental health. 

Drawing on my experience to help others

In August 2026, I am climbing up Snowdon, to raise money for Nacoa, as this is such an amazing charity that can help so many children and adults across the country who are impacted by their parents drinking, and to know that they are not alone.  

I am hoping to raise £500 for Nacoa which could be vital in spreading the word about the impacts of being a child of an alcoholic and fund their amazing helpline for those in need. 

You can find my Just Giving page here.

Ebony

To read more experience stories, please go to Support & Advice.