When my mum was alive, I often thought of her as selfish, but now she’s not here I understand this was an illness
I will be completing the Edale Skyline Hike solo at the start of October 2024. This is a 20-mile hike around the Peak District. I have done all these Peaks separately, but never in one go!
My mum Cheryl passed away suddenly in March at just 58.
My mum was creative, she instilled my love of reading, and she was an amazing cook. She enjoyed gardening, spending time with family and in the past had gone back to study when we were grown up. My mum was also alcohol dependent.
A coping mechanism for depression
When my mum was alive, I often thought of her as selfish, but now she’s not here I understand this was an illness. It was a coping mechanism for her depression and now I feel overwhelming compassion and sadness for her, despite the hurt and pain suffered over the years.
Finding out why Mum drank has been an important step in helping me accept and work through my grief. It helps me to remember her for her, and not just her addiction.
I wanted something positive to come out of this awful situation by raising money to help others.
The stigma around drinking still exists resulting in many children of alcoholics hiding it and pretending things are okay.
Love despite addiction
There are a lot of conflicted feelings you have to deal with. There are feelings of despair that this is happening, hope that things will change, loneliness at not being able to speak up, and love for that person, despite their addiction.
I’m raising money in aid of Nacoa (National Association for Children of Alcoholics), and every little donation will help.
This is a cause that is extremely close to my heart. I have seen and experienced first-hand the devastation and destruction alcohol can do, and my heart goes out to anyone going through this.
Nacoa have been amazing in helping me trying to process what I am feeling and have always been there with advice and support.
Sarah
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