Little steps to understanding and managing burnout

When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

managing burnout

Little steps to understanding and managing burnout

My own experience of burnout

When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising at first, I was often exhausted, very low mood, disregulated a lot of the time not able to manage my emotions. I started to get very overwhelmed with my workload and instead of saying no to more work I kept saying yes, the more exhausted I became the more I took on, I was permanently in a Fear state of ‘Flight’ and began to drop all my plates until everything crashed down around me.

After many years of over working, over caring, over giving, not understanding my unprocessed trauma around my childhood. The impact of my dad’s Alcoholism, domestic violence and my mum’s mental health left me with a lot of unhealed trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I began to unravel and didn’t have any health coping strategies to manage what was happening to me, I hit a very big wall and burnt out. At the time I had no idea what ‘Burn Out’ was I just knew that I wasn’t well and I couldn’t go back to my old life and old ways of coping.

Exploring therapeutic practices

I felt so alone when I first experienced burnout and sadly lost friends, connections, community and work. Over the past 9 years I have begun to very slowly and gently rebuild my foundations, understand why I burnt out, exploring and learning about wellbeing and therapeutic practices that work for me, I began to prioritise my wellbeing and created a wellbeing tool kit that works for me.

I am currently training to be an Integrative Counsellor and I hope to specialise in burnout, working with people who are Carers in their family or have a member of their family struggling with alcohol, people who work in the charity, education and caring sector and people who identify as having a disability or an invisible disability.

What is burnout?

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by chronic stress. It can occur when we feel overwhelmed, overworked, and have little control over our lives. Burnout can have a significant impact on our overall well-being, including our physical health, emotional health, and relationships.

It can occur in both work and family life and can have a negative impact on your overall well-being. In work, burnout can be caused by excessive workloads, lack of control over work, and little social support. In families, burnout can be caused by trying to do too much, lack of support, and feeling overwhelmed with the demands of caregiving.

Symptoms of burnout can include feeling exhausted all the time, lacking motivation, feeling irritable, and experiencing physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches. Burnout can also affect our ability to concentrate, make decisions, and perform tasks effectively.

The impact of burnout can be far-reaching, affecting our relationships with loved ones, our job performance, and even our sense of self-worth. Burnout can also lead to other mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression.

Remember taking care of yourself is not selfish, but rather an essential component of maintaining a healthy and balanced life. By being proactive in preventing and managing burnout, we can improve our overall well-being.

managing burnout 2

Little steps to support you in managing burnout

-Learn to recognise the signs of burnout, such as fatigue, irritability, and decreased motivation

-Set aside time for activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, reading, or taking a bath.

-Setting boundaries between your work and personal life to avoid overworking and allow yourself time to recharge.

-Take time to be present in the moment and engage in activities that bring you joy.

-Identify healthy ways to cope with stress, such as deep breathing exercises or journaling.

-Reach out to friends, family, Counsellor or a support group to discuss your stressors and receive emotional support.

Muscle relaxation exercise

Muscle Relaxation Exercises can be helpful in reducing physical tension and promoting relaxation, which can be especially helpful when experiencing burnout. Here is a simple muscle relaxation exercise:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place to sit or lie down.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath, allowing yourself to become more relaxed with each exhale.
  3. Starting with your toes, tense and hold the muscles for a few seconds, then release the tension and allow the muscles to relax completely.
  4. Move up to your calves, tensing and holding for a few seconds, then release the tension and allow the muscles to relax completely.
  5. Continue to move up your body, tensing and holding each muscle group (thighs, abdomen, chest, arms, shoulders, neck, and face) for a few seconds, then releasing the tension and allowing the muscles to relax completely
  6. Focus on the sensation of relaxation in each muscle group as you release the tension.
  7. Once you have tensed and relaxed each muscle group, take a few deep breaths and focus on the sensation of relaxation throughout your body.

This exercise can be done as often as needed and can be especially helpful during times of stress or burnout. Remember to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to fully relax during this exercise.

managing burnout 3

CBT exercises that can be of help.

-Identify Negative Thoughts: When we are burnt out, we may have negative thoughts that contribute to our feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm. Identifying these negative thoughts can help us challenge them and change our thinking patterns. Write down negative thoughts that come to mind and challenge them by asking yourself if they are realistic, true, or helpful.

-Practice Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk can help us counter negative thoughts and improve our mood. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and statements such as “I am capable,” “I am doing my best,” and “I am deserving of rest.”

-Focusing on gratitude can help shift our perspective and improve our mood. Keep a journal and write down three things you are grateful for each day, no matter how small they may seem.

-Practice Relaxation Techniques: Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

-Identify and challenge negative beliefs that contribute to burnout, such as the belief that you must be perfect or that you must always put others’ needs before your own.

Managing Burnout is an ongoing process that requires effort and self-care, the exercises and tips can be helpful in managing symptoms of burnout but it’s important to seek professional help if your struggling with burnout and finding it difficult to manage on your own. If you feel you may need extra support, it may be helpful to reach out to a Counsellor or Therapist to talk to, you can access online and in the real world sessions to support you.

By Jules Allan

For more support and advice from Nacoa, click here.

Little steps to understanding and managing burnout

When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

Little steps to understanding and managing burnout

When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • About Nacoa

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • About Nacoa

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Hello!

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Nacoa branding - style guide

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Contact us Person looking at Nacoa's website for people affected by a parent's drinking to show different ways to contact for support or to get involved with the charity to help other children of alcoholics

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Governance

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • History

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Nacoa Helpline

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Calling the helpline

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Helpline FAQs

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Managing browser history

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Monitoring & evaluation

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Policies & procedures

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Our people

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Abie Dunlop

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Amanda Brett

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Amy Dickson

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Carolyn Jones

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Ceri Walker

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Dr Anne-Marie Barron

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Dr Piers Henriques

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Euan Graham Euan Graham

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Hilary Henriques MBE

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Jane Elson

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Josh Connolly

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Katy Stafford

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Laura Leadbeater

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Laurence McAllister Alleyne

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Maya Parker MA

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Peter Irwin

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Patrons & ambassadors

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • The Nacoa Promise

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Experiences Search Result

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Get involved

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Donate or become a member

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • About Gift Aid

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Become a corporate member

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Become a member

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Welcome new member

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Donate in memory

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Gift in your will

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Give in celebration

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Make a donation

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Thank you!

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • More ways to give

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Fundraising

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Thank you for signing up to Big Nacoa Walk 2024! Big Nacoa Walk thumbnail

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Raise awareness

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Sponsored events

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Volunteering

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Message boards

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Log In

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Message board rules of conduct

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Start a new topic

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Nacoa: Helping everyone affected by their parent's drinking Nacoa UK Helping everyone affected by their parent's drinking

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • News & events

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Events

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Features

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Latest

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • News

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Privacy and cookies policy

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Research & resources

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Books, videos and media

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Nacoa professionals training

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Nacoa publications

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Research

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Widening Access

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Some Punjabi and Sikh parents drink too much…

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Support & advice

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Adults

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Books, videos and media

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • FAQs

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Help and advice

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Information

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Personal experiences

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Children

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Books, videos and media

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • FAQs

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Help and advice

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Information

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Personal experiences

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Concerned others & professionals

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Books, videos and media

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • FAQs

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Help and advice

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Information

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Personal experiences

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Young people

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Books, videos and media

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • FAQs

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Help and advice

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Information

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Personal experiences

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

  • Topics

    When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising

managing burnout

Little steps to understanding and managing burnout

My own experience of burnout

When I hit 40 I slowly began to burn out, it slowly crept on me without realising at first, I was often exhausted, very low mood, disregulated a lot of the time not able to manage my emotions. I started to get very overwhelmed with my workload and instead of saying no to more work I kept saying yes, the more exhausted I became the more I took on, I was permanently in a Fear state of ‘Flight’ and began to drop all my plates until everything crashed down around me.

After many years of over working, over caring, over giving, not understanding my unprocessed trauma around my childhood. The impact of my dad’s Alcoholism, domestic violence and my mum’s mental health left me with a lot of unhealed trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I began to unravel and didn’t have any health coping strategies to manage what was happening to me, I hit a very big wall and burnt out. At the time I had no idea what ‘Burn Out’ was I just knew that I wasn’t well and I couldn’t go back to my old life and old ways of coping.

Exploring therapeutic practices

I felt so alone when I first experienced burnout and sadly lost friends, connections, community and work. Over the past 9 years I have begun to very slowly and gently rebuild my foundations, understand why I burnt out, exploring and learning about wellbeing and therapeutic practices that work for me, I began to prioritise my wellbeing and created a wellbeing tool kit that works for me.

I am currently training to be an Integrative Counsellor and I hope to specialise in burnout, working with people who are Carers in their family or have a member of their family struggling with alcohol, people who work in the charity, education and caring sector and people who identify as having a disability or an invisible disability.

What is burnout?

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by chronic stress. It can occur when we feel overwhelmed, overworked, and have little control over our lives. Burnout can have a significant impact on our overall well-being, including our physical health, emotional health, and relationships.

It can occur in both work and family life and can have a negative impact on your overall well-being. In work, burnout can be caused by excessive workloads, lack of control over work, and little social support. In families, burnout can be caused by trying to do too much, lack of support, and feeling overwhelmed with the demands of caregiving.

Symptoms of burnout can include feeling exhausted all the time, lacking motivation, feeling irritable, and experiencing physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches. Burnout can also affect our ability to concentrate, make decisions, and perform tasks effectively.

The impact of burnout can be far-reaching, affecting our relationships with loved ones, our job performance, and even our sense of self-worth. Burnout can also lead to other mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression.

Remember taking care of yourself is not selfish, but rather an essential component of maintaining a healthy and balanced life. By being proactive in preventing and managing burnout, we can improve our overall well-being.

managing burnout 2

Little steps to support you in managing burnout

-Learn to recognise the signs of burnout, such as fatigue, irritability, and decreased motivation

-Set aside time for activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, reading, or taking a bath.

-Setting boundaries between your work and personal life to avoid overworking and allow yourself time to recharge.

-Take time to be present in the moment and engage in activities that bring you joy.

-Identify healthy ways to cope with stress, such as deep breathing exercises or journaling.

-Reach out to friends, family, Counsellor or a support group to discuss your stressors and receive emotional support.

Muscle relaxation exercise

Muscle Relaxation Exercises can be helpful in reducing physical tension and promoting relaxation, which can be especially helpful when experiencing burnout. Here is a simple muscle relaxation exercise:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place to sit or lie down.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath, allowing yourself to become more relaxed with each exhale.
  3. Starting with your toes, tense and hold the muscles for a few seconds, then release the tension and allow the muscles to relax completely.
  4. Move up to your calves, tensing and holding for a few seconds, then release the tension and allow the muscles to relax completely.
  5. Continue to move up your body, tensing and holding each muscle group (thighs, abdomen, chest, arms, shoulders, neck, and face) for a few seconds, then releasing the tension and allowing the muscles to relax completely
  6. Focus on the sensation of relaxation in each muscle group as you release the tension.
  7. Once you have tensed and relaxed each muscle group, take a few deep breaths and focus on the sensation of relaxation throughout your body.

This exercise can be done as often as needed and can be especially helpful during times of stress or burnout. Remember to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to fully relax during this exercise.

managing burnout 3

CBT exercises that can be of help.

-Identify Negative Thoughts: When we are burnt out, we may have negative thoughts that contribute to our feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm. Identifying these negative thoughts can help us challenge them and change our thinking patterns. Write down negative thoughts that come to mind and challenge them by asking yourself if they are realistic, true, or helpful.

-Practice Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk can help us counter negative thoughts and improve our mood. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and statements such as “I am capable,” “I am doing my best,” and “I am deserving of rest.”

-Focusing on gratitude can help shift our perspective and improve our mood. Keep a journal and write down three things you are grateful for each day, no matter how small they may seem.

-Practice Relaxation Techniques: Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

-Identify and challenge negative beliefs that contribute to burnout, such as the belief that you must be perfect or that you must always put others’ needs before your own.

Managing Burnout is an ongoing process that requires effort and self-care, the exercises and tips can be helpful in managing symptoms of burnout but it’s important to seek professional help if your struggling with burnout and finding it difficult to manage on your own. If you feel you may need extra support, it may be helpful to reach out to a Counsellor or Therapist to talk to, you can access online and in the real world sessions to support you.

By Jules Allan

For more support and advice from Nacoa, click here.

You are not alone

Remember the Six "C"s

I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices

Resources you may like

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.