Every pothole of my ACOA journey was worth it to see my incredible girls grow

We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

I am a 46 year old recovering ACOA and I have to say that going to the AA meetings at an early age (Al-anon, Al-teen) saved my life. My lovely mother was a binge alcoholic who ran a very successful group of Building Societies in Chicago – she was my hero! A very powerful woman that to this day, I still wonder how she managed to run a business and raise 6 kids on her own (the love of her life, my father, passed away unexpectedly when I was born). As you can tell, I forgave her and could not have done that without my support groups and my sponsor. I was able to forgive the person who I wished was dead on a daily basis.

Forgiveness was vital for me as I had years of fear and unresolved anger. It all began when I was 9 years old. My mom came home trashed from a business event. She had blood on the back of her skirt – not knowing what to make of any of this, I thought she was in an accident. The fear I carried with me for years began then. The need to protect her (co-dependence) started then too. Then the anger, piles of anger. I was the last kid at home, so I was the co-dependent child who was there for my horrible alcoholic mother.

We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance, family values and love. I remember envying my friends’ families… a mom who helped with homework, a mom who sat and chatted, a mom who morally supported.

Before my recovery kicked in, I used people like tissues, I have indulged in drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, spending and food. I was generally an angry person who thought the world owed me something. I used my addictions to try and fill this “void”. My recovery path taught me all about my voids which weren’t so scary after all.

I am a very happy, healthy mother of two girls (ages 11 and 15) and have a wonderful husband. It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear them say things like, “my friends love you mom, they think you are great”, “you are the best mom”, “so and so wishes her mom was like you”… I feel like every crash and fall, every cliff-hanger, every pothole of my ACOA journey was worth it when I see my incredible girls grow.

Serenely

Janice

Categories:

Every pothole of my ACOA journey was worth it to see my incredible girls grow

We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

Every pothole of my ACOA journey was worth it to see my incredible girls grow

We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • About Nacoa

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • About Nacoa

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Hello!

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa branding - style guide

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Contact us Person looking at Nacoa's website for people affected by a parent's drinking to show different ways to contact for support or to get involved with the charity to help other children of alcoholics

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Governance

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • History

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa Helpline

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Calling the helpline

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Helpline FAQs

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Managing browser history

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Monitoring & evaluation

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Policies & procedures

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Our people

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Abie Dunlop

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Amanda Brett

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Amy Dickson

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Carolyn Jones

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Ceri Walker

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Dr Piers Henriques

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Euan Graham Euan Graham

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Hilary Henriques MBE

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Jamie Brett

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Jane Elson

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Josh Connolly

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Katy Stafford

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Laurence McAllister Alleyne

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Liam Tullberg Liam Tullberg Nacoa

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Lindsay Doherty

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Maya Parker MA

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Peter Irwin

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Patrons & ambassadors

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • The Nacoa Promise

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Experiences Search Result

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Get involved

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Donate or become a member

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • About Gift Aid

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Become a corporate member

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Become a member

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Welcome new member

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Donate in memory

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Gift in your will

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Give in celebration

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Make a donation

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Thank you!

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • More ways to give

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Fundraising

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Thank you for signing up to Big Nacoa Walk 2024! Big Nacoa Walk thumbnail

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Raise awareness

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Sponsored events

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Volunteering

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa Volunteer Application Form

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Message boards

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Log In

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Message board rules of conduct

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Start a new topic

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa: Helping everyone affected by their parent's drinking Nacoa UK Helping everyone affected by their parent's drinking

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • News & events

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Events

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Features

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Latest

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • News

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Privacy and cookies policy

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Research & resources

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Books, videos and media

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa professionals training

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Nacoa publications

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Research

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Widening Access

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Some Punjabi and Sikh parents drink too much…

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Support & advice

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Adults

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Books, videos and media

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • FAQs

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Help and advice

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Information

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Personal experiences

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Children

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Books, videos and media

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • FAQs

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Help and advice

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Information

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Personal experiences

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Concerned others & professionals

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Books, videos and media

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • FAQs

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Help and advice

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Information

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Personal experiences

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Young people

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Books, videos and media

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • FAQs

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Help and advice

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Information

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Personal experiences

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

  • Topics

    We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance.

I am a 46 year old recovering ACOA and I have to say that going to the AA meetings at an early age (Al-anon, Al-teen) saved my life. My lovely mother was a binge alcoholic who ran a very successful group of Building Societies in Chicago – she was my hero! A very powerful woman that to this day, I still wonder how she managed to run a business and raise 6 kids on her own (the love of her life, my father, passed away unexpectedly when I was born). As you can tell, I forgave her and could not have done that without my support groups and my sponsor. I was able to forgive the person who I wished was dead on a daily basis.

Forgiveness was vital for me as I had years of fear and unresolved anger. It all began when I was 9 years old. My mom came home trashed from a business event. She had blood on the back of her skirt – not knowing what to make of any of this, I thought she was in an accident. The fear I carried with me for years began then. The need to protect her (co-dependence) started then too. Then the anger, piles of anger. I was the last kid at home, so I was the co-dependent child who was there for my horrible alcoholic mother.

We never went without food, clothes, necessities, but we did go without guidance, family values and love. I remember envying my friends’ families… a mom who helped with homework, a mom who sat and chatted, a mom who morally supported.

Before my recovery kicked in, I used people like tissues, I have indulged in drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, spending and food. I was generally an angry person who thought the world owed me something. I used my addictions to try and fill this “void”. My recovery path taught me all about my voids which weren’t so scary after all.

I am a very happy, healthy mother of two girls (ages 11 and 15) and have a wonderful husband. It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear them say things like, “my friends love you mom, they think you are great”, “you are the best mom”, “so and so wishes her mom was like you”… I feel like every crash and fall, every cliff-hanger, every pothole of my ACOA journey was worth it when I see my incredible girls grow.

Serenely

Janice

You are not alone

Remember the Six "C"s

I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices

Resources you may like

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp’s privacy practices.