My mum has been an alcoholic for as far back as I can remember. In the last couple of months I have been trying to find someone that can relate to what I have been through.
I’m only 18. I have seen the best and the worst of my mum and I feel like I saw it all too soon.
When I was 14, she should have been there for me as a parent, she should have given me the right advice and encouraged me to travel down the right path. That is something that she never did and I always blamed her for that.
A few years on, now that I am a little older, I understand that my father drove her to be a lot of things that she had become during my childhood. Mum had been turned into a bit of a monster because she was trying to cover for my father.
I now know now that he was really the bad guy. Now that I am an adult I can see what was really happening.
My father had treated my mum so badly that she felt like she had to cover for him and be the person to take the brunt when it was really him causing all of the hardship.
Yeah mum was, and still is an alcoholic, but she still cares a million times more than Malcolm (my father) ever will, and that means more than anything.
I love my mum and hope she gets better. I wish more than anything in the world that my mum could recover from being an alcoholic and could live a normal life…But I know that those things are just a dream.
I have finally come to accept that my beloved mum will be gone forever because of her addictions and I will have to deal with that……I’m working on it anyway. xx