Growing up with the unhidden secret of alcoholism

Coming into a family with alcohol at it’s centre would be hard for most these days but for me it was just the norm. I didn’t see my mum as having a problem, I saw the problem when the bottle wasn’t out.

You didn’t see much of mum after a night of drink. When mum was up, there was a dark blue bottle of love besides her. It gave her confidence, bravery and life. But made her frail, vulnerable and afraid when she did not.

Alcohol was not something that was spoken about outside of the home because everyone knew the situation. It was the unhidden secret. Alcohol took some of the most precious years with mum. Even though she was recovering for fourteen years, the damage was already done.

I lost my beautiful mum when she was at the age of just forty-eight. I was twenty-five and had two children under four. How was I going to explain this to them? I vowed never to drink another drop of alcohol the day my beautiful mum gained her wings for fear that history would repeat itself.

13 years later and I am still going strong. Alcohol can take a hold of you without you realising it. Saying you need help is the hardest battle of them all. Don’t think you have to tackle this alone. There is always someone who will listen, who understands and who will help you. 

Sending you love, strength and inner confidence on your journey. ❤️

From the child of an alcoholic parent,

Tammy

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This piece was published for Addiction Awareness Week 2023 – Taking Action on Addiction.